What your mother wants you to know about dating

When it comes to dating advice we often roll our eyes when mom gets on her soap box to dispense unsolicited guidance.  However, occasionally your maternal influences might have a pearl of wisdom that could improve your perspective on dating or even answer a prayer. 

Here’s some thoughtful dating wisdom from a Q&A a panel of moms shared with The LDS Matchmaker: 

Q: What’s your best dating advice?:

A: Throw away the list you wrote down as a teenager with everything you wanted your future spouse to be.  Look outside the box and let go of expectations. 

A: Ask yourself this important question; is he (or she) kind?  You can live a very long time with a kind man (or woman). 

A: You have to be the one, before you find the one

A: Be yourself and don’t wait for your special someone to come along and make you happy.  

 

Q: What would you say to someone holding high expectations but having a hard time finding the right dates?

A: It’s not fair to judge date candidates against someone like a father, mother or another person in your life you’ve put on a pedestal. It takes years of living and maturing to reach that state.  Those “ideal” men or women were probably a lot less ideal when they were dating. Find someone who has the potential to become like the person you admire. 

A: Overlook the little things.  Everyone has issues.  If you can agree on the important things, the small things become less significant.

A: There isn’t just one right person.  There are a lot of compatible matches. Don’t focus your lens so closely that you miss good people.

A: Be realistic about the options you have.  In real estate, you wouldn’t expect to move right into your dream house.  In love, you start with someone who has potential to become the person of your dreams after years together building “equity” and improving yourselves. 

 

Q: What would you tell someone who was shy or nervous in social settings with the opposite sex?:  

A: Speak up, smile and be brave.  Everyone is nervous in these kinds of situations. 

A: Open up your heart a little and let some words out.  Take a step out of your comfort zone.  You’ll find you can do more than you thought you could.

A: Put yourself out there so you can be found.  Your partner is just as frustrated trying to find you.  Everyone has something to offer and there is a match out there for everyone.

 

Q: What would you tell someone in a relationship that wasn’t progressing?:

A: If someone is not willing to commit to marriage after a reasonable amount of time, take a vacation from that relationship and see what else is out there.

A: Find someone that helps you stay motivated to make progress in your life. Be brave and try something different if what you have isn’t working. 

A: Don’t feel too disappointed if you have a lot of breakups.  Dating is a lot of trial and error to find out what is most important to you and other people. It only works out one time. 

 

Q: What would you tell someone who said there was no one for them to date?

A: Go to new places, try new things, make new friends. 

A: If you know every fish in the pond, find a new pond!

A: Be more open to a lot of things, but always use the spirit.

 

As a special Mother’s day gesture, invite your mom to lunch.  Think of some specific questions you have about your dating life and invite your mom to share her wisdom and insight.  You might find she has some answers that help.


**The LDS Matchmaker team has a proven record helping hundreds of singles just like you take advantage of new opportunities in attracting a match. If your dating methods aren’t working contact The LDS Matchmaker by phone at 801-495-1000, by email at info@ldsmatchmaker.org or schedule your Dating Strategy session here.