Why the ideal of your father might be tainting your dating pool

Father’s Day is a time to reflect and celebrate the men who influence and have shaped our lives.

As single women, many of us are searching for a guy who can hold a candle to some of these special men. Having standards and specific criteria are important tools in dating and eventual mate selection.

It’s possible however, that some of these ideals could be stifling your search to find your perfect partner.

Seeking specific traits belonging to these ideal men might be blinding us from relationships that could be right for us in time if we made an investment getting to know them.

After a recent interview for the What Your Mother Wants You To Know About Dating article created by The LDS Matchmaker, one of the sources, a mother of six, married for 45 years shared her insight on this topic.

“I know many, many women are waiting for someone who has the characteristics they admire in their father or other men in their life.  What they need to realize is that the men they idealize were NOT ideal when they were in the dating pool,” Darla Wardle said.

“I saw a lot of potential in my husband when we met in the 60’s. I knew he had a lot to learn and obvious problems to overcome. Even though I had concerns, I continued to get to know him.  We dated for more than a year and eventually fell in love, even though neither of us was perfect.

After 45 years of marriage, six kids and decades of church service, we’re both much better people and spouses than we were when we met.” Darla said.

The direction from this interview with a woman of such life-experience is to allow yourself to see past some of the imperfections of those you come across. Look into the future of what could-be if you didn’t immediately disqualify him for reasons that are fixable with time.

From a matchmaker’s perspective, there are countless great men with a lot of potential in the singles world. Many of them have not figured out exactly where they are going, or how to get there, but that doesn’t mean they won’t arrive.  With support and love in their life, they’re more likely to transition into the person with whom you’ve dreamed of building a life.

This Father’s Day look around at the men in your dating pool.  Take a risk and allow yourself the opportunity to get to know someone who may not possess all the qualities you’re seeking, but could someday if you’d given him the chance.  

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The LDS Matchmaker specializes in helping singles identify and overcome obstacles that have kept them from finding lasting love. Dating experts provide insight, ideas and specialized services that help clients make progress toward making marriage a reality.  If you’re ready to discuss how to get your love life headed in the right direction, schedule a Dating Strategy Session with The LDS Matchmaker. Contact us at info@LDSMatchmaker.org or by calling 801-495-1000.  Access our online calendar here.