How to make sure you never really connect with anyone – Avoiding the text trap

Many singles have found that the overuse of texting and technology has left them lonely.  There’s an easy change of course that will help you rapidly deepen romantic connections and personalize budding relationships.

ELIMINATE TEXTING  

Using our smart phones to text enables you to quickly, quietly and casually connect with anyone at your leisure. But is that really what you want? A casual connection? 

If you’re marriage minded, texting your way there will certainly take you a lot longer or even stop you from getting there. 

Although our goal usually revolves around deepening connections to the people we’re dating, our insecurities drive our hesitancy to put too much on the line. Texting is the easy way out. Don’t take it.

CHOOSE NOT TO TEXT  

Call your romantic interests to check-in after work instead of firing off a quick text. Share interesting or funny moments from your day and get an idea about how they’re feeling about their day.

If your love interest can’t answer your call, of course it’s okay to leave a text saying you were thinking of them and you’d love to talk when they had the time.  

Getting short, segmented replies, when it’s convenient is no substitute for even a ten minute conversation where you share, laugh and discover more about each other’s personalities, thoughts, feelings, needs and opinions.   

No one is saying never text again.  It just that texting needs to be controlled -  especially as a dating method.  

By choosing only to text for appropriate reasons, you can fast track your ability to have more opportunities for personal connections.

Be more than just a ding on his or her phone. Texting, although convenient, eliminates the warm, attractive, personalized things you’d communicate in a call.  Calls more often lead to in-person interactions, which of course is the real goal.

It’s certainly okay to text to let them know you’ll be a few minutes later or earlier than expected. It’s okay to text an address or directions. It’s okay to text if you’re in a meeting and there’s something urgent or important that you can’t communicate verbally. It’s okay to text a mid-day teaser about something you’d like discuss later.

If you’ve met someone online, don’t bother texting them all night or all week long.  Just give them a call. Let them hear your voice. If you’re not going to talk, what’s the point of going offline with your communication?  If you’d like someone to call you, just adorably invite them to do so. 

Once on the phone, discuss things like the major players in your life at home or work.  Share things you’re thinking about in the future. 

When funny, interesting or absurd things happen related to the things you’ve shared, make a phone call to tell him or her an entertaining story about something you’ve discussed in the past. 

Those kinds of stories are too complicated to text and will create a warm, personal opportunity to share parts of your life and gauge their interest in a future together.  The more personal connections you enjoy as a couple, the more likely it is that your love interest will linger.

As a rule of thumb, if you have to text more than five times back and forth, a call is in order.